One of the things they taught me in medical school is that when you explain a diagnosis or a treatment to patients, it helps to check what they understood because the stakes can be high if the wires get crossed. So I say things like, ‘Mrs. Johnson, tell me what you have understood about the results of your tests. Now just let’s go over which pills you take in the morning, and which ones you take after dinner at night? Do you have any other questions?’ More often than not there is a glitsch somewhere along the line. Double checking makes the difference between confusion and control.
Recently, I visited a kindergarten to have a chat with some children about how babies are made. I think we all learnt something from the experience. There was one little girl whose mother was very pregnant. I asked her to tell me how babies are made. ‘Easy, silly!’ she began. ‘Well, an egg and a sperm mix together and they grow in the mummy’s tummy. Then the baby comes out of the mummy’s tummy into a hospital and into a pram.’ So far so good. ‘So where does the sperm come from?’ Not a moment’s hesitation. ‘From the daddy’s penis.’ ‘Very good! Now, where does the egg come from?’ ‘Ummm. From a chicken I think!’ Looks like this is where we lose the plot.
No matter how carefully you have explained things to a child, they’ll only take a certain amount on board, and how the egg and sperm story is actually translated in their minds is anyone’s guess. I’m reminded of a picnic one summer when a friend’s child asked me to join in an ‘egg and sperm race’. Sounded like fun, but I assured her a spoon was what she was after.
If you talk to a child about any difficult concept, get them to explain back to you in their own words what you have just explained to them. This is a great safeguard against confusion. You can immediately pick up any misconceptions they may have formed, and then you’re completing the circle of true communication.
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