Loss of fertility might be considered the moment when the man becomes unarmed. ‘Have a vasectomy and join the club.’ It is impossible not to have attitudes to vasectomy, though the overwhelming first response to the event was that it was ‘a small job and made no difference’.
There is evidence that the quality of marriage for the woman may improve after vasectomy (Adler, Cook, Gray et al., 1981). On the other hand, there is a measurable regret for some men which leads to requests for reversal (Howard, 1982).
Mr G. is a fireman and one of those men who described his vasectomy as a ’small job’. He then reassured himself by saying it was a difficult part of life at last put behind them and that they could relax. Sex was the same and the family complete. The doctor felt a strong hint that discussion of the matter should now be completed, and it was for the time being. Later Mr G. relaxed and was able to say how much more time he had at home, particularly because ‘we don’t seem to need so much sex now, and anyway the children need so much of our time’. Some time later the discussion returned to contraception. ‘Did it take long to decide about a vasectomy?’ ‘No. She said . . . . , well, we agreed that I would do my bit, and it didn’t matter who was done.’ There was a long silence. ‘I wonder if your wife would have decided so quickly about being sterilized herself?’ After a pause he replied, ‘You know, in a way, I thought more about it afterwards. It took me several months to get used to it. At first I thought I was bound to go off sex, but it is no good getting cross about it.’ Mr G. became visibly upset, and it was necessary to arrange a follow-up consultation later, which had a satisfactory outcome.
*151/197/1*
