Although we wish him to be heroic, loving, compassionate, wise, available to us at any time of day, fascinated by our particular case, skilled in matters of medicine as well as accomplished in the subtle manners of handling people, brilliant diagnosticians, chatty, charitable, and good-humored, we may find we are on a quest for the doctor who only rarely exists, if at all. We want a doctor who is a good person and a caring practitioner, but we may also be asking for him to be a god.
Many doctors incline toward a role as a lesser god. This can cause some conflict between such doctors and the patient who is a reluctant worshiper. Doctors who live the god role may be exemplary diagnosticians, dazzling surgeons, insightful theoreticians, awesome innovators—but they may not be able to talk simply, directly, and kindly to a patient. With a deep need to be sure of themselves, they can dismiss a patient who asks questions that require more information or explanation. Women doctors are not exempt from the god complex, even though we somehow expect them or wish them to be.
The most effective method of deciding if a doctor is right for you is if you can say yes to the following statements after discussing your case with him,
1. Is my doctor a partner in my health care? This is the critical question to ask yourself after first consulting with a doctor- Do you feel as if he cares about you? Or do you get the distinct impression that he expects you to do as he suggests, without question, including Options for surgery?
2. Can I talk openly about nay medical problems with my doctor? You should feel an immediate rapport with your doctor so that you are not intimidated into silence, thereby omitting what can be essential information to treating your case. If you cannot speak freely with your doctor, you are doing yourself a disservice. Find another with the right chemistry for you.
3. Do I fact confidence in my doctor’s ability? You must feel that your doctor understands your condition and know that he is willing to explain it to you. Can he correctly diagnose and treat your problem so that it does not become worse over time? If you are seeing a doctor who repeatedly tells you that your symptoms are psychosomatic, when you know you are suffering from real pain—he may be missing the diagnosis. If you fed lagging confidence in your doctor, remember that you are entitled to a second opinion. Do not worry what the first doctor will think about this if he finds out. It is your body, your health, and your right to seek the best medical care.
4. Do I feel safe knowing that my doctor doesn’t rush into the more radical approaches to treatment? Among the most common complaints against doctors are the rash use of prescription drugs and unnecessary surgery. Endometriosis sufferers tend to be susceptible to such mistreatments. If your doctor appears eager to operate, suggesting that he will “save everything” he can, immediately seek a second opinion and, if necessary, a third or fourth. You want to save everything you can, too: your internal organs. And if you are taking prescription drugs that have ill effects or no effect, or if you think you are becoming addicted to a drug, tell your doctor. If he insists that you continue on the drug and dismisses your discomfort, find another doctor.
These are the key factors in selecting the right doctor. If after evaluating your answers, it is strikingly dear that you need a different specialist, be assured that you are not alone. Other women with endometriosis have had similar experiences. Fortunately; such women can be found, and they communicate!
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