Born in Hungary, Frieda was a child prodigy who learned to play the piano at age two-and-a-half while still in nappies. Seventy-five years later she is still playing the piano, currently in an upscale department store, where she is so popular that families have written to the store management telling them what a treasure they have in her. Not only does she play standard classical and popular music, but also entertains the children with theme songs from their favourite TV programmes. To all outward appearances Frieda is a cheerful person and few would suspect that she is depressed. T am a gay depressive, and I don’t mean in the sexual sense of the word,’ she declares with the dramatic flair one would expect from a concert pianist.

What most people do not know is that Frieda no longer enjoys the many things that used to delight and enchant her. She has withdrawn from people and has not finished reading a book nor been to a concert performance for the past three years. Life feels very difficult. She is pressed for money and everything seems like an effort. Her thoughts often turn to gloomy themes and she is beset by all sorts of imaginary fears. For example, on her recent visit to her GP she worried that she would get lost or trip in his surgery. Even worse, she dwells at times on thoughts of taking an overdose of medications and being done with her suffering once and for all.

Frieda’s history with anti-depressants is an unhappy one. She compares herself to an overweight person who has tried a number of diets but has ended up heavier than she was at the beginning. She feels that every anti-depressant she has tried has left her worse off than she was before. She claims to be the first person to give ‘a bad report on Prozac’. She can’t remember what the problems were with Lustral and Wellbutrin, both of which she tried with untoward effects. She believes Efexor caused ‘brain activity while I was asleep – terrifying dreams’ that disturbed her nights and left her exhausted during the day.

When St John’s Wort began to garner attention in the media, Frieda read up on it in a book of herbs and decided to try it. Frieda discontinued the Efexor and after 10 days shifted to St John’s Wort. This is the first anti-depressant she has ever taken that has not troubled her with side-effects. She is highly circumspect about the reason for her improved sleep and energy level, wondering whether it might be due exclusively to being off Efexor as opposed to an effect of the herbal anti-depressant. Her psychiatrist has recommended that she increase the dosage to see whether the improvement continues. In the meanwhile her suicidal ideas have left her and she is guardedly optimistic that further positive developments may follow.

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For a few days in hospital, she had felt overwhelmed by grief for her husband. The pills had suppressed her emotions for so long she was relieved to be able to cry.

She has coped well since she got home, although at first she was depressed. Six months later, she looks very well and is patiently waiting for her sleeping pattern to return to normal. The spaces between the ‘down’ spells are getting longer and longer. Her friends are delighted to see her sense of humour returning to normal.

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Many people say that they feel as if the ground is moving when they walk, or that they are walking on cotton wool. It can be alarming but does settle down as withdrawal progresses. This unsteady gait (ataxia) can be experienced in severe anxiety states where no drugs are being used.

Tingling, Numbness, Burning Sensations

Many people complain of tingling and numbness in hands and feet (although the feelings can be anywhere), and also feelings like electric shocks going through the body. Some of the tingling may be due to overbreathing. It could be that an exaggeration of normal nerve impulses is the reason for the electric shock feelings. All these feelings and the burning in the spine, vulva and inner thighs (or elsewhere) also disappear when withdrawal is complete. _

Tingling feelings in withdrawal is complete.

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Pressure of thought and speech often accompany this stage. Endless conversations (sometimes from years before) or the same song can go around and around in your head.

Relatives often complain that the user has become completely self-centred, talking incessantly about the drugs and withdrawal symptoms. The sufferer is usually very anxious about these symptoms, and may need constant reassurance that they will pass.

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You are working towards a state of physical and mental well-being that you may not have experienced for years. You may have been emotionally dead for so long, unable to respond normally to pleasure or pain. So even if you are uncomfortable in withdrawal, you will be coming alive again and will have glimpses, even in the early days, of a world you thought you had forgotten.

Anxiety

Most of the withdrawal symptoms are due to manifestations of anxiety. This does not mean simply worrying about the weather or which dress to wear for a party, but disabling physical and emotional symptoms which prevent the sufferer from leading a normal life. Clinical tests have proved that anxiety levels after the drugs have been discontinued can be six times greater than pre-withdrawal levels. This is called rebound anxiety.

Tranquillizers appear to stop that part of the brain that deals with anxiety from working—but this is not really so. It carries on working overtime under the ‘lid’ of the drugs, and consequently when the ‘lid’ is removed, it erupts like a volcano. This is temporary, and will return to normal.

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